To Lose a Friend

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From crayons

To paper

To dreams

To memory.

We tied our wanting into a bow

And placed it on each other’s laps

Where neither trial

Nor thunderstorm

Could wash away our fairy tale.

Did not occur to us that neither plastic bags

Nor happiness

And not even the future was strong enough

To hold us.

We were brave.

We were warriors.

We were safe in each others ears

Promises to each others secrets

No one could tell us any different.

Calendars did not lend us its eyes

Did not carve reality into the sticky notes we placed

On our destiny’s

We merely rode on the backs of memories

We created out of air

That smelled of hope

And lullabies

That felt like oxygen to lung

Breath to life

Truth to wisdom

But that bled deception underneath the surface

Of blue lines

On white paper.

That smelled of jasmine

Now shattering glass

Hopelessly pasted together

Encoding our hearts in one anothers chest

We opened up

Fearlessly vulnerable.

Stored our futures away

With the ease of speech

Letting them hide behind our eyelids

Trapping falling tears into bottles for fear

Of losing sight of the other

Amidst the blurs it birthed

When doubt crept in.

And we held onto these bottles

Like we babysat the others gaze

Too naïve to understand

That there were no guarantees

That we must not put our hopes into fallen stars

And wishing wells

For now we bleed

Both apology and need

For our broken wings

Pierced diamonds

Both myth and martyr alike

Legend to sacrifice

Do you know what it’s like to feel every twist

And turn

Of a dying bow?

To be undone?

Shackled to the worst part of your life story

Prisoners to the memories you created

In each others smiles

Now dangling regret

In the sky.

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#Ronovan Writes #BeWoW Prompt – Regret

be-wow-blogger

Regret:
feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity); a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.

Ex. “She immediately regretted her words.”

Today, Ron’s suggested topic for #BeWoW is on Regret:

In my opinion, the idea of Regret is good. In order for someone to change from a negative situation, thought, or feeling, he or she must admit to a wrong and feel sincerely sorry for having committed this wrong. There must be some kind of sadness from having done it. This repentance of sorts then will lead to proper change in whatever capacity that it is needed. So the concept of having Regret for having done wrong is a good thing. If I have no ill will toward having done evil in the past then the reality that it is evil has not left my heart and I do not see it as the evil (or mistake) that it is. If I lied but I do not Regret lying, then I do not see it as the wrong that it is. Life presents the opportunity for change and growth in many instances in our lives. And when I look around at the negative parts of me that I struggle to completely do away with, I see those parts as belonging to a time I have not fully regretted. I know that it is bad, but I do not wholeheartedly feel bad for having participated in that bad, I have not fully Regretted it. Instead, secretly, I still see it as a good thing.

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”

― Cynthia Occelli

On the other hand, the problem with Regret comes in when we wallow in that Regret and our repentance then turns not into positive change, but ugly depression, and thus causes us to regress in many ways. Even if I can Regret having made a mistake, I can never correct it if I continue to hold on to it. The amount of energy that I put into that kind of regret has the capacity to single handily destroy me. It leaves no room for positive change or any other feeling. This kind of Regret is a cancer, eating away at our life force until we are a mere reflection of what we used to be. It causes us to feel sorry for ourselves so deeply that we eventually hate ourselves because of it and are no longer any good; not to ourselves and not to anyone else. We fall down, but unlike positive Regret, we do not look on the fall as an opportunity to get back up, we look on it instead as a crutch and as an excuse to keep us down. This is the ugly side of regret and no good can come from it.

In closing, I say to my Regretters:

You should feel sorry when you’ve done something wrong because if not you are bound to repeat it. You should Regret it and be remorseful and sad because this is what is needed to change it from a negative to a positive situation. However, careful not to allow this sadness to turn into depression because it will destroy you. It’s OK to feel bad but eventually you gotta get yourself together and back on track. Your sanity and your growth as an individual depends on it.

Is Regret Healthy?

th“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”  – Katherine Mansfield

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Hmm…interesting perspective. I would love to hear your thoughts on this quote. Yay or Nay? Do you agree with Katherine? Is Regret unhealthy? Or are there exceptions to the rule? I’ll hold off on my thoughts for now. Plus, yours is way better. 🙂