The Walls You Build


There are two kinds of walls that hinder us in our lives. The first wall is there naturally and I wouldn’t even call it a wall. It is more like a warning; that blockage there to indicate a possible or impending danger. It exists to stop you from being involved in situations that do you harm or that cause you to make a life altering mistake. It’s that internal alarm that rings, warning you that something is not right, something does not vibe, or that something is about to go wrong.

Some people call it anxiety, fear or paranoia and while these exists, this feeling is none of these. You’re not paranoid. Your body is just telling you that something is wrong. Sometimes it happens when you’re around certain people. Sometimes you’ll say, “It’s something about him or her”. That’s because when the vibe isn’t right, the entire body reacts.

I remember having that feeling when I was eighteen years old. I was out on a date and I got this extreme nervous, anxiety feeling. I wanted to turn around but felt it was too late as we were already entering the restaurant. That night ended with me in the hospital and five staples in my head.

We were jumped by a group of men and women. There were just too many of them. We were thankful to make it out alive.

Even so, not all walls are natural internal clocks. Some walls are built by us.

Sometimes the wall exists because you built it. A person cannot move their hand to do what the mind does not already believe it is capable of doing. Not having the strength to persist is one thing but having the strength and choosing not to be strong is another thing entirely. Growth isn’t always what you can see but we often walk by sight and not faith. As such, we hinder ourselves because we didn’t really believe it was possible.

I know that people say to “Believe in yourself”, but that’s the problem.  I don’t believe achieving anything of value is about believing in yourself but in something greater than you. But you do have to reach inside of yourself and find that excitement for the possibilities. Not even that you’ve made it, because none of us have, but the mere possibility. As my sister says, have a now faith not just a future faith. Rejoice on the journey, not just the arrival. And while the goal is so much bigger than you, the choice to begin starts with you.

There’s a quote by Andrew Murphy that says, “You’re confined only by the walls you build yourself”.

“People only work within the confines of how they perceive themselves, and when your self-esteem is low, that perception is usually far from the truth. You won’t be successful until you believe that you are truly worthy of it.” – Stephanie Lennox

Sometimes it’s worth considering that we’re not limited by resources, or understanding, or support but by our own walls. It’s mind over matter. It’s like people who sit down for a card game and proclaim, “I’m not really good”. I guess you’re not. You took yourself out of the equation before you even started. These are the walls we build.

Ultimately, the only time anything possesses power over us is when we weaken ourselves.

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I write Black Historical Fiction, and Soulful Poetry for the freedom of all people. Visit me on the web at

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