Tag: poetry

The Ultimate Test

Caught in the Storm

“For one human being to love another is perhaps the most difficult task of all, the epitome, the ultimate test. It is that striving for which all other striving is merely preparation.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Interesting quote. When you boil everything down to its genuine purpose, it all seems to come back to love. Mankind prepares itself to understand what love is and how to exhibit that love. I think perhaps imperfection is not being without mistakes, but perhaps, being without love.

 
What if the Ultimate test, the promised land of sacrifice and endurance, is the preparation of ourselves to meet love in its purest form, where in comparison to such esteem that even the sun is but artificial light? Would not our struggles be worth it? The beauty of pure love, it is too much to fathom, “that striving for which all other striving is merely preparation.”

Never Having Been a Girl

This poem is based on a true story. A sista I know  requested I write a poem based on her childhood. And after hearing her testimony, this is the result.

Waiting_by_prettylilly
Silence lingers on every street corner of her heart
surrounded by the sounds of her own heartbeat
the only child
who knew that loneliness could be so loud?
Never remembering ever being a girl
womanhood emerging from her mother’s womb
responsibilities following her home wrapped in soft blankets and warm booties
yet infancy is kicked off too soon
removed
and replaced with scavenger instincts
tearing away at empty cupboards
hope falling asleep like heroine nods
quickly replaced with the tears of a three year old
silence tearing away at the soft eardrums of a toddler’s pride
never remembering ever being a girl
Quick paces of little feet turned nine
gotta get the cigarettes on time
crowded streets
little feet
unknown eyes that are watching me
(at least somebody’s watching me)
careful now these little feet
having never been a girl
Twelve times twelve,
twelve arrives
sadness in mommies cancer eyes
watch him do it and do it right
gotta give the medicine exactly right
the internal cries of that youthful voice (never really having been young)
somebody please tell me,
where is mommies tongue?
gotta carry cause mommies gone
will someone sing her daughters song?
The woman with the pink ribbons in her curls
the woman never having been a girl
Restaurants to wash myself
weed and drinks cause I watch myself
who cares for cute sinks when nothings left
seems like childhood just up and left
me sitting beside myself
empty benches now colored with the stench of my pain
smelly armpits reach out to beg for change
while relatives sit at home and count my change
whose willing to see this woman change?
Never having been a girl
Hustle proved its source of love
where does an instant woman find true love?
inside the arms of an abusive man she seeks her refuge from lazy hands
money giving light to dark places
apartment buildings giving substance to misplacement’s
where
where has it gone? My love? Where’s your part?
where oh where have you hidden my heart?
Numbers fade away like living water upon dirty dishes
this daughter of mine the result of these stitches
Entering the world as if she owns it!
Gotta hope another woman has not entered this world
praying my first child has the chance to at least,
just be
a girl.

Lines

4e5f2615bbea1ad7efae0dfa19128cfa
A woman by a wall painted with Revolutionary Poetry, in London, 1970s Richard Braine/PYMCA (from ‘Unordinary People: A celebration of British youth culture’)

Indefinite streaks of infinity running in one direction
words spilled over into cups of inspiration overflowing with obsession
so she writes
hurrying to let go of the pain caught in the palms of her hands
when
raindrops washed away dirt only to leave blisters of unspoken words on racing lines
how will she ever catch up?
Not talented enough to open her mouth in time to swallow the air so that she may catch her breath
not enough lines left over for exhausted words to sit and to wait
so what do I tell her?
what advice is there available for the woman with bleeding hands and a song to sing?
what kind of shoes are necessary to ensure that she keeps running in the same direction the lines are running
and
how many times
how many times must the caged bird write before she sings?
What advice shall be given to the one behind enemy lines?
Somewhere within the margins of the page
on the WRITE side of the RIGHT side
tell her
to stop hiding under her notebook
Tell her blue lines are not running they’re waiting
to search for similes beneath the surface
like
question marks these lines are empty on purpose
cuz
spoken words are not written they’re spoken on purpose
you tell her ….
this water didn’t come from raindrops in the sky
but the raindrops underneath her eye
-lids
Tell her it’s OK
to cry
even her messiah did
Cuz deeply emotional is the truth
and hearts aint bullet proof
but these lines
tell her these lines are waiting for her to get there
blank paper anticipate being stabbed in the chest
and wait for the blood you call ink to transform into the familiar alphabets the world has grown to love
called words
Indefinite streaks of infinity running in one direction
skillful lines
waiting
2 be heard

Pre-Conceived Notions

4e4b68aaa2119612bbb71b9abf9e7590

the first time we met, I stood knee deep in lust
took advantage of your smile
never thought I would fall for it
too young to realize I’ve just never met a man before
dancing in your eyes
willing
to gamble my last just for a chance to see you again
your words,
so elegant that I thought deception wrapped its arms around my waist
tried
to convince me our love was nothing but child play
planned
to hold nothing in my heart but a piece of your gaze
and now
just maybe
you’ll let me kiss the anger from your voice
babysit your thoughts in my lap
let you feed on the wisdom of my breast
and we’ll dance neck up in peace & tranquility