Smart Girls: A Message to Black Girls

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This post is for the colored girls growing up in ghettos and back alley ways where not even the front porch is safe. No offense to those who ain’t colored or black or african american or whatever byword we choose to call ourselves these days. You see I’ve known too many young women aborting their purpose for the opportunity to be hood certified. You know it. Named brand from the lobe in her ears to the Gucci panties and matching bra somebody said was worth holding our heads up for. Ladies, true power is made when you stop giving it away. When even your emotions themselves can’t be touched. You see the real women–the ones who are truly wealthy–they work smarter, not harder and this ain’t about a cliche. Cliche’s got nothing on a woman who can not only manage her time but her emotions too. Cliches got nothing on a woman with structure, order, and morals to guide her. Cliches got nothing on a woman with a plan who knows how to use it. Arguing back and forth with people or jumping in someone’s face because they said something negative about you gives away your power, and when someone else has your power they can control you with it. I know reputation is important at this age but smart girls learn to keep their mouths shut and are not impressed by the latest gear or level of popularity. You see a name brand shoe is amateur to she who has wisdom. She who has wisdom spends her time cultivating her mind. She spends her time learning how to be a woman. She who has wisdom is heard of, but is rarely heard. This means that people know of her, but don’t hear much from her. This is because the smart girls know how to keep their mouths shut. You will never see the smart girls bickering back and forth on Facebook and Twitter. A smart girl’s energy and her time is too precious. Even when a smart girl is offended you won’t know about it and when she strikes back you’re not sure if she did. Even when she excels a smart girl doesn’t necessarily have to make noise, you see her works will speak for her. Smart girls are not puffed up and conceited. They understand that comfort zones are beautiful, but no growth happens there. So smart girls hit hard but move silent. This is what makes her who she is. She doesn’t seek attention, she seeks respect because it lasts longer. You see, girls who are smart understand that there are two very precious commodities in life. One is time and another is wisdom. A smart girl can walk into a room wearing rags and still be respected, why? Because of her sincere desire for instruction. Smart girls are known for not what’s on their feet, or what drips from their necks, but smart girls are known for what’s in their minds. And oh yea, before I forget, two things. Number One: Smart girls don’t go around hating and envying each other, they’re worth too much for that. Jealousy is beneath a smart girl. Two: Smart girls understand the value of patience and therefore seek the approval of men, not boys. Still, a smart girl understands that to get a man she must first become a woman. It pays to be a smart girl.

Encouraging Womanhood

I remember being given the permission to date at a certain age. Even if not literal (I don’t remember being told), by the age of 15, 16, and 17 it was understood I have at some point begun dating, and as such there was a silent acceptance of this change. As I’m running errands and trying to escape the triple digit scorch that’s got it’s body spread all over Louisiana, I thought about womanhood. d8998d4994ed3993c8d8df56c8e9ebcf What is womanhood? The question hangs over the heads of our daughters with anxious anticipation. The youthful mind dividing itself into sections of experience: puberty, first date, first love, marriage, and children. We split ourselves into portions and gamble off pieces that do not fit. We grow old and still we find this question lingering against the frontal lobe of our minds, and occupying the mental space of our thoughts, “What is Womanhood?” It is a question we believe can be answered just by purchasing cigarettes, buying liquor, engaging in sexual intercourse or the entering of the club scene. As my thoughts spread out and I take these snap shots of my own past, I thought about this generation and how disappointed I am in a lot of today’s youth. Their minds seem to be so far gone from basic fundamental teachings that drive adulthood. My thoughts grew to include preparation and how little of it is present in many of our communities. That is the preparation of our young people and most especially, of our young women. Instead of encouraging our daughters to get boyfriends, it is time we start to prepare them for womanhood. In this way, when they begin to engage in relationships, when they do find a man, they’re not little girls. Because we have not prepared our daughters, a generation of children occupy grown-up bodies and little girls have over run our households and are producing babies they don’t have the tools to teach. What happened to the womanhood training our grandmothers instilled in our mothers fifty years ago?