Don’t Compare

Let’s just be real for a moment shall we? There will always be times where you will feel inadequate. Times where you feel that your goals will always be too far to reach. Either your pockets are too thin or your faith just a few mustard seeds too small. In either event, we all have those moments were we second guess ourselves. Some people second guess their ability to be parents, some second guess that they are doing well at their jobs. Some of you even second guess your relationships. Will this last? Is it, is it real? That promotion? Maybe you second guess yourself there too.  Is this really what I am supposed to be doing? Am I supposed to be here? These times are bad enough, I do not need to explain. You’ve lived life. You understand. You don’t need my explanation of how doubt creeps underneath our skins and try altering our minds. What you do need is reassurance that comparing your situation to others is like slamming your head into the desk to try and heal a headache. OK, so maybe that was a violent example but it’s exactly what we do when we play the compare game. When I look at where I am in my life, personally, professionally, or otherwise I see  hope. But when I look at those who are where I am trying to go, personally or professionally, the colors don’t decorate the sky as much. And trust, I ain’t trying to reach for stars, but ain’t no rainbows either. We’ve all been here. The thing is, don’t compare. You can’t look at others to determine your growth because its yours. You’ve lived it and you’ve experienced it and unless someone somewhere know what its like to metamorph into someone else’s soul they can’t know what its like to walk in your shoes. Growth is the difference between who you are today and who you were yesterday. What can you see? It may not be a big rainbow people can see but I promise you there’s some lily’s and sunflowers down there some where, and some roses that grew from concrete. Always compare yourself up against yourself. Nothing more and nothing less. It’s the only way to win.

Keep growing.

What Will You Leave Behind?

When the dust settles and the coffin hugs your flesh, what will you leave behind? What would be our final worth when the world is forced to see us, not through the lens of rose-colored glasses but from what we have cultivated in the earth? After the money becomes useless and the ink fades from the degrees we placed so much faith in, will our names linger on the edge of tongues? Will your children grow to benefit from your work? Will you be able to stretch your arms forth in the breath of yesterday and kiss them with creativity? I wonder if children are in my future and, if so, if they will live to cherish my books one day.

What would ultimately become of these words? Will they become heirlooms on the shelves of memory? Will my offspring reminisce on an existence that did not include them and somehow influenced their decisions? I am smitten with the reflections of these revelations, how my ancestors lived and how those lives affect us today—the nostalgic images of yesterday and the way they Underground Railroad themselves into the future. I am forced to consider what kind of tracks I will leave behind for others to follow. Will the sweat of labor coddle my children’s tears, or will it just become moisture for the worms of the earth when the dust has settled, and the maggots hug my flesh? I wonder.

Define Your Goals #MayChallengeDay14-15

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I always say that I don’t really sit down to seriously write a book until I know how it ends. The reason I stick to this strategy is the same reason most of us have such a difficult time reaching our goals: We don’t define them. If I don’t know where I’m going with a story, the ultimate ending, I usually have a hard time getting into the flow. The flow. Its that first draft stage where you put your head down and you do not come back up until the work is done. Not even for air. You worry not about the technicalities of the work or what other people are saying about the publishing industry. Those things will become nothing more than a distraction. Well, at least to me (I can’t speak for you). So, as for me, once I do get started I can’t  worry about typos, editing or what Stephen King said. Not right now. Not in that moment. At that point I’m just trying to get the basic layout on paper. But how can I lay the foundation that will lead me to a certain point if I don’t know what that point is? I cannot build a brick house until I know I want it made of brick, least I lay the foundation with straw.

The same can be said of our life, our blogs, or whatever it is we set out to do. One thing I’ve learned over the years is the power of patience. Oh patience! I was in such need of it. If I could have bought endurance in a bottle I would have done it. I realized that my lack of patience was draining all of the potential out of my work. Why? Well because I was rushing an idea and not sitting down to seriously analyze what it will take to bring that idea forward. And not only to bring it forward but to seriously consider the plausibility of the idea. Does it makes sense? Is it real? And not only is it real, but do I believe in seriously reaching this goal that I have set for myself or is it just a dream? I hear people talk a lot about following your dreams. People are fond of dreaming, but as long as we are still dreaming our goals will be just that: imaginary.

Anyone can set goals. We’ve all been to school or to some educational setting even if it were our own living rooms, where someone told us to sketch out our short term and long term goals. In short, many of us know exactly where we want to go, and where we want to be. The problem is not the goal itself. It’s not that it is too difficult or too simple. The problem is that we have no clear vision of how we plan to get there.

The chart in this post is a great start. Make sure that your goals are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. I tried to think about which of these was the most important, but I think they all are. If your goal is not specific enough then it won’t be measurable. If goals are not measurable then they won’t be achievable and a goal that is achievable is naturally also not realistic. If your goal is not realistic then there is no real time limit that can be placed on it. Which in turn means its more likely to stay in lala land than put into action.

What I Learned About Blogging, Writing, and Life #MayChallengeDay 11-12

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Sometimes we just want the easy answer. The easy answer, and the smooth path. We want to lower mountains, and bring them down to our understanding. And we want as many tips on how to do so as is possible; we want things to be as easy as possible. But what I have learned, whether about blogging, writing, or life in general is this: You can have all the talent, and all of the opportunity in the world but if you do not have the persistence, the endurance, or the discipline to keep working then you do not have anything. Determination is called drive for a reason, it moves you.

MAY You #MayChallengeDay 9-10

May you never forget where you come from

May you never forget who you are

May your trust be earned

May your love be genuine

May you listen not to reply

May you listen instead to understand

May your eyes speak integrity

May your lips echo the eyes

May you treat others, the way that you treat yourself

May you treat yourself, the way that you treat others

May you defeat fear with a smile

May you smile through the fear

May your heart be content

May contentment be in your heart

May you not complain today

May you use your time wisely

May wisdom be the orchestra of your time

May you see the beauty in every day

May today be

beautiful