On “Keeping it Real”

Time for some real talk before the week ends.

I am sitting here getting some work done before the sun sets and a thought came to me. It’s a thought I’ve thought on many times before and that I voice with my husband many times over, though I’ve never said much of it publicly. The thought is in keeping it real. I don’t like the term and frankly, the fact it has become a catchphrase annoys me. I understand what is meant by it. I know how important it is to be real and to “tell it how it is.” I understand no one should ever water themselves down and more, no one should ever sacrifice their integrity for the sake of being “Liked.” That’s not the part that annoys me. What annoys me is when we use this term to assume things about people that are not true, we perceive wrongly and our discernment is off. Why is this? Because “Real” is different for each individual but we act as if it means the same for everyone.

Just because I limit my profanity, read the Bible, encourage people and don’t say the first thing that comes to my mind doesn’t make me fake, for instance. This is who I am and these are things I do even when no one is looking. I am not perfect just a little boring. I like to read all day, spend time with my family, write, laugh and drink wine. That’s literally it as anyone who knows me and has been around me more than 5 minutes could testify to. No one is worth me getting out of character for so I don’t try to “fit in” by being unfiltered. That would be fake of me.

Another example is on telling the truth. I do understand the realness that deals with being open and frank about things. I encourage it because it’s needed. For example, women, don’t get with a man just because the sex is good.

That’s a form of keeping it real or telling it like it is because you are telling the truth. But, this doesn’t always mean the person is being real either. I’ve spent years around people who were direct, forthcoming, and to the point but were still phony. Not because I think they should tell all their business or because the things they said weren’t true but because they were not being a real reflection of who they truly are.

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My point is what’s real for you isn’t necessarily real for someone else. You may be funny, loud, quiet, outspoken, reserved, or direct. My blog has a serious feel to it because that’s my persona. I’m a serious person. I expect your blog to reflect your persona. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re truthful like in our example, if you tell people how it is, no filter, be that. The point is, people don’t have to act like you or do what you do to be authentic. They may post a lot or post a little but that doesn’t mean they are trying to get something out of you. They may tweet a lot or post on Facebook or IG a lot, that doesn’t mean they are seeking attention. Maybe they are just “doing them.” Maybe they actually enjoy blogging. Maybe they enjoy posting. Perhaps it’s fun to them. Maybe the standards and limitations you apply to your own space don’t apply to them. Maybe, just maybe, this is who they are. Remember this the next time you judge.

 

Enjoy your weekend people.

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How did I change clothes so quickly? Tee hee.

 

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15 thoughts on “On “Keeping it Real”

  1. Very good points raised here
    In the UK, there are two sorts of descriptions which raise my ears:
    1. Plain speaking – actually rude and insensitive.
    2. I’m a simple person – Actually turns out simple in the medieval term (short on wits and perceptions).
    Nothing is truly plain, simple or straightforward as some loud commentators would have us believe.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a follower of Christ, ours is a hard cruel world. We are all sinners regardless. I’ve come hard on people who are hateful to me, try to take advantage or take me for granted & guess what they continue to do so. It’s not easy to bless when they curse, do good when they do evil. Everyday is a new challenge to say and do what is right. It’s a battle. My blog is for the purpose to showcase my writing to the end of generating income. I haven’t made a dollar from it yet. I’ve had about 3 people – total strangers directly comment & encourage me. Need it be 3,000, NO. I enjoy and follow your blog Yecheilyah because you are authentic. I only blog once a month & have missed months due to crisis or abrupt change. Those who have already monetized from their blogs – kudos. But you won’t get any fluff out of me, because I don’t come from a place of fluff. Thank you for being you Yecheilyah so others can voice and be themselves. The circles we run in tend to influence us. We have a choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Regine for leaving a comment on the table and for your kind words. I am humbled that my blog can be a positive influence on others and I look forward to checking out your blog.

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