How to Know if You’re a Hater

Don’t laugh.  I am serious. Some of you don’t know.

Anytime you see someone doing something positive and your first thought is, “But…” This is a sign that your a hater. Now, people can hate for different reasons but if your FIRST thought is BUT, there is some hatred there. Let’s look at some examples.

An author gets over 100 reviews.

“But I know some of those fake though.”

How? How do you know their reviews are fake? Have you conducted your own private investigation of this? Have you interviewed the reviewers to find out? How do you know for sure that this author’s reviews are not authentic?

A man gets a promotion on his job.

“But they not even paying him enough.”

How do you know if what he makes is enough for him (not for you) and if it’s not? Have you spent a night at his home? Have you spoken with his family? How do you know what’s enough for his family size and circumstance?

An author makes the Amazon Best Sellers, USA Today or New York Times List.

“But that don’t mean nothing for real. Anyone can make the Best Sellers list.”

Really? Anyone? Are you sure? How do you know what this means to this author? Have you done the research to verify that this achievement means nothing? Can’t this author just have their moment?

An Author makes it to #1 on Amazon with a book priced at only 99cents.

“But yo book was $0.99 though so your “Best Seller Status” don’t mean nothing.”

Again, how do you know? There are a gazillion books out today for 99cents. If an author makes it to #1, how do you know they didn’t earn it? Surely, they had to do something different than the other million authors with sales going on around this time at the same price. Have you investigated this particular author’s niche? Did they show you their marketing strategy? Do you know for sure if they’re gaming the system (as some do which is like, weak) but did you check to see if they fit those who do? Did you meet for dinner to discuss this? Do you know their circle and level of influence? No? OK.

A woman just gave birth and can’t help but post pictures on social media.

“But you shouldn’t be posting pictures of your baby like that.”

Can this new mother have her moment? We know there are predators out there but her children are fully clothed and she’s not abusing them. I know we don’t praise this type of stuff in this world today but can we, for a moment, understand the significance of this achievement? After all, none of us were in the hospital with her when she gave birth and I am sure we would not want to share her pain. Can she at least have this moment?

A man and woman celebrate their anniversary.

“But I heard he was cheating on her tho.”

Let the record reflect that the key word is “heard”. Have you investigated this for certain? Do you actually know this man and woman or have you just heard rumors? How do you know if he’s cheating on her? Where’s your evidence and two-three people to verify? You don’t? OK.

My point is, when you see someone doing something good whether that’s a new promotion or they just had a baby or got married your first response should not be negative. If you shake your head in the negative at their success (and even if it isn’t actually success to you maybe it is to them) then you fall into the hater category. OK so that author is maybe doing it wrong, can’t you at least partake in their happiness for a moment? You can always message them privately to school them, can’t you? No, they’re not sitting on Oprah’s couch and they’re not really “doing it big” but they wrote  a book and they’re happy, is that not enough?

My point is, and I don’t care who you are, if your FIRST reaction is to shake your head in the negative when you see other people happy (because they don’t fit your definition of ‘doing it right’), you’re a hater and should probably cut it out.

Matt. 7:1-2

Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

FYI: This scripture means that the same way you judge others is the same way you will be judged. If you are not compassionate on others, there will be no compassion for you when your time comes. Let’s treat others the way we would like to be treated.

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Yecheilyah

Writing to restore Black historical truth through fiction, nonfiction, and poetry.

7 thoughts on “How to Know if You’re a Hater”

  1. I love this post. We need to be reminded that we should be happy for someone’s success. If the others have achieved your goals in life, instead of being envious, we can be happy and perhaps ask for tips and words of wisdom from those people. I once read that we live to lift each other up 🙂

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