Lasting Marriages – Miracles in Disguise

Circa: 2012, me and Hubby on the way to New Orleans to port for our 7 day Cruise
Circa: 2012, me and Hubby on the way to New Orleans to port for our 7 day Cruise

“As far as I’m concerned, if a Black man and woman make marriage work in amerika, they’ve accomplished a miracle. Because everything is against them. Just being poor is one of the biggest obstacles. Most of the arguments are about money. It’s hard to be loving and caring when you can’t pay the bills and you don’t know where the next dollar is coming from”

– Assata Shakur

This excerpt from Assata’s autobiography is so on point that I had to share it with you. This I do not limit to Black people but all people. Marriage is something I think we take highly for granted. It is one of the oldest institutions in which requires so much work and yet receives so little praise. I just want to take the time to encourage all of my married people, especially my married Black people, since our divorce rates are higher than any ethnic group. As Assata has mentioned, it is a struggle to focus on the love you have with one another when there are so many other distractions surrounding the basics. Trying to live life, fulfill a career, rear the children, pay bills, it all gets cloudy sometimes. But we cannot allow this to damage the beauty of the coming together of man and woman. I have been married for seven years now and we’ve been together eight total. One of the things we love to do together (aside from travel) is movie night. It started as something sporadic and has now become a tradition. Now movie night is every night! Lol. It gives us the opportunity to enjoy each others company after a long day with life. When we come into the door and we finish our dinner and all the miscellaneous things in preparation for the next day; when the lights dim and the surround sound begins, we try to leave everything else behind us. No smartphone. No internet. No talk about work and bills and blah blah blah, just me and him. It nurtures our relationship in ways that are probably far more impactful than we can realize at this moment. While I still consider myself a newlywed as compared to some of you veterans, I just want to encourage you to find an activity you share with your hubby or wifey that no matter what happens in the world, it does not get in the way of your bond. In the words of Lena Horne “It’s not the load that weighs you down, it’s the way you carry it”. So shift some of that weight, get rid of some even. But find something to do together that makes the whirling world stand still. Be honest and open with each other concerning your flaws and doubts and feelings and allow the love that brought you together to be a kind of therapy within not just your marriage, but in your life. Marriage is work and anyone who tells you different is a liar. It is not easy and sometimes it can be a real struggle. It is for this reason that if you are married and have been for some time, across nationalities, if you are still married, then you are a living miracle. Never underestimate that.

Writer’s Quote Wednesday – The Obscurity of Truth

That’s right, it is Wednesday, but not just any Wednesday, it is Writer’s Quote Wednesday, an open forum hosted by Colleen of Silver Threadings that gives us an opportunity to highlight the quotes and lyrics of other authors for inspiration and motivation. Today’s quote comes from Blaise Pascal:

The Obscurity of Truth

Family Guy had an episode where Brian and Stewie had offspring together. For those who do not know, Stewie is a baby (human) and Brian is a dog. So they had a litter of half-dog, half-human offspring. I read an article where a human ear was grown on the back of a mouse. A brother of mine read another article where three men were married. And then I heard on the radio just this morning that there will soon be what is called abortion medication that can be sold over the counter.

We live in a world that becomes more and more free every day. It is not a freedom to which our minds have already accepted. Not a freedom in the sense of being released from chains. Not a releasing type freedom. But the world is becoming free in a different way. In a way that is not as pure as the term freedom might suggest. The lines between what is right and what is wrong are blurred. The basic common sense that people once had is quickly being done away with. While we can go back and forth about one’s perception of right and wrong, in the end the truth will always be there. Whether or not the majority believes it to be so does not nullify its existence. But lies, usually supported under the concept of love, is so well established in this world. It is so well articulated. So well researched. So well put together, that sadly there are many who will never know the difference between what is real and what is not real. What is truth? What is not truth? The answer to this question depends on your level of love for the truth. Not your research. Not your philosophies. Not your rights. Not even your religion. Just the truth. If you love the truth, you will love the answers to these questions. It’s that simple. Or at least it was.

Thanks for stopping by, you know I love to have you, :).


Don’t forget to check out Writer’s Quote Wednesday every Wednesday, hosted by Silver Threading.